


not sure where I'm headed

by Elske



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Law school is hard, being a genius is hard, having no friends is hard, i love you Shitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7878655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elske/pseuds/Elske
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whatever you do, don't think of failure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not sure where I'm headed

Whatever you do don’t think about Shitty at Harvard, suffocating just to keep his head above water: because he’s a Literal Genius, because everything worth doing in his academic life always came easily and now he doesn’t know how to study, he doesn’t know what to do.

Don’t think about how quiet his small apartment is around him and how he swears the place gets bigger at night, when he can’t sleep, and he’s used to the sounds of the Haus, breaths and heartbeats (his own heartbeat swallowed up into the loneliness of the night)

Don’t think about the day he cracks and goes to the counseling center and the bored nurse writing out prescriptions for Luvox and Xanax, a laugh in her tired voice as she calls it the Grad Student Special: and his not even bothering to correct her that he’s Harvard Law.

Don’t think of him swallowing down four of the little blue pills, don’t think of the bitterness lingering on his tongue under the taste of the coffee, and the way his mind snaps immediately to Jack.

Don’t think of him driving to Providence, don’t think of Jack opening the door at four in the morning and recognizing the unfocused focus in his best friend’s eyes, benzodiazepine and caffeine and a touch of mania.

It’s okay to skip ahead to the ending, with Jack’s arms cushioning Shitty’s body, muffled sobs against his bare chest. Skip ahead to Bitty’s bare feet padding down the hall, to Bitty taking one of Jack’s hands and one of Shitty’s and leading them both to bed where they sleep in a puddle of catharsis. 

It’s okay to skip ahead to Shitty’s smile in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never been to law school (although a lot of people told me I should? Please, I'm a historian.) I have been to grad school. I've never been to Harvard (although they did have the grace to wait-list me unlike the jerks at UVA.) 
> 
> I haven't written fic in a while man, I'm not good anymore, but this boy resonates in my soul.


End file.
